


Daffodils And Poppies  - A WW1 Story

by MysticPotato



Category: No Fandom
Genre: 1910s, ANZAC, Character Death, Complete, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Gen, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, Letters, Original Fiction, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, War, Why Did I Write This?, World War I, lots of death, this was a school assignment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-09 03:19:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 8,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17399036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticPotato/pseuds/MysticPotato
Summary: Australia is a new country of the British Empire when World War 1 begins. In this time of War, the son of a family of four volunteers to go and fight, leaving his father, his mother, and his sister. Without Robert at home, will the family be able to cope with a father falling ill, a mother to the care for her husband, and a sister left with chores her grandma's stories?---This is a story I wrote for my English short story assignment in August 2018 using the book 'A Rose for the ANZAC Boys' by Jackie French as a reference for the time period. I thought I should post it on here. My mark for it was 80%, but I put too much effort in for 80%.---You can find this book also on my Wattpad account - @PotatoScar





	1. Parting

\--8th Sep. 1915.--  
“Go get the Germans! Knock ‘em dead! Pound them to du-” I was caught off my mum, holding me down to the ground.  
“Kate! You are being too noisy.” My mother scolded. She seemed more concerned about mere noise rather than her only son leaving to go to war. What is she thinking!? mum should be watching and taking in these final moments with Robbie!  
“Come on mum! Leave Kill-Kate alone, she is just having a bit of fun.” My brother always defended me. Plus he was the only one who ever called me Kill-Kate. As I was always ‘killer’ at riding my horse, Liz. But I wanted to kill the Germans alongside my brother, why was there a minimum age to leave?! I am fifteen now, I can help with the war! Even if I am still quite childish. I will miss my Robbie though. I am sure that his horse Matt will too. But it won’t be for too long though, Robbie was strong and will knock the Germans down like the weeds in our fields! And he gets practice riding horses while doing so, why can’t I have a part in this?  
“Kill-Kate! I won’t be too long, no longer than a year and those Germans will be gone for good! Then we can have all the races you want as a celebration!”

“Because you will be a war hero and everyone will praise you?”

“Exactly.” 

I loved my talks with Robbie, they were always filled with horse races, celebration and himself.  
“Do your best and push them back. And, be back for dinner.” My mother said with a smile, she always hoped that Robbie wouldn’t leave. But I secretly think she was going to miss him the most. 

My father then appeared to my mother’s surprise. He didn’t leave to see Robbie off with us, he is too sick!  
“If you keep talking like that to your only son you are not going to have many friends Laura. Go Robert, fight them with everything you got.”  
“John! You are sick! Why are you out here, you should be in bed!” My dad has been suffering from an unknown disease. We aren’t sure what it is and it’s pretty much gone, but because of it, my dad didn’t pass the medical. He was so frustrated when his son got in but he couldn’t fight with Robbie (and what did she say to me earlier about being too loud?). “Like hell I am going to stay in that dark hole and not see my son off to go and fight.” Mother opened her mouth to protest, but nothing came out and she just rambled to herself. “Robert, you are going to be fighting for our country, in a land you have never been before. Stay sharp and vigilant. If you ever need something to look back on and remind you of us, just have a look at this.” My father passed something shiny. It looks round and small-maybe a pocket watch of sorts. But I don’t remember my dad owning a watch.  
“I… thank you dad. I will make you proud. You just focus on getting better and I’ll see you in the next battalion of men.” They hugged and gave each other promising looks, a promise that I would never know, but they would never forget.  
“All men to on the boats! Final call for all men to get on the boats!” An announcer called out to Robbie and the rest of the army men leaving to get on the boat who were still talking to families and friends. But, I can’t go with him. It will be too long, I can’t wait a year.  
“Mum don’t worry about me, I will be back for dinner. It just might not be tonight's dinner.” He cracked a smile. “Dad, thank you. I won’t let you down and I look forward to our future when you come up to Turkey. Kill-Kate, When I come back, I will tell you all the stories and give you all the races you want. We can pick Daffodils in the backyard and give them to grandma too. She will appreciate it. We will eat mum’s famous sandwiches and have picnics with Matt and Liz. Our life will be quiet, breathtaking and at peace. Just like always. So wait for me and I will be back faster than you can say ‘The ANZACs and Great Britain beat Germany!’ OK?” He seemed so excited and ready to do his bit. I was sad he was leaving, but I trusted my Robbie! So I had to agree. I hated looking sad in front of my big brother and my family. “OK. I believe in you Robbie!” I smiled the best I could while he walked towards the ship. He reached the end of the doc and my mother gasped in realisation, her son leaving for war, to fight for his country. She was truly proud of her son. Robbie talked to someone at the bottom of a ramp to get on board and just as he started walking, stopped. He turned around and waved to us three with the biggest smile on his face. Followed by a gesture that only him and I used as a symbol of siblingship and care at home- the ‘OK’ symbol over the right eye and winking the left. I almost screamed. I replied with the same gesture...and he was gone. He was trampled and yelled at by other military members for taking a long time to get on and the boat left. We couldn’t see him on the boat, but he would’ve been too busy getting ready for the next few weeks on a boat with his friends. “Come on Kate, it’s time to head home. It’s almost dinner time.” My mum got me out of my daze. I really hoped he would be back soon. My parents started too walk off but before I left I threw a Daffodil to the river near the boat. I followed my parents back to our car but whispered to myself: 

“The ANZACs and Great Britain beat Germany!”.


	2. The First Letter

\--18th Oct. 1915.--  
“A letter a letter! Robbie’s sent in a letter!” I run in to see my mother washing breakfast dishes and my father half asleep on a chair. It’s been two months already and I was in disbelief there was a letter so soon. He would've been busy fighting the enemy. I give the letter to my father so he can read it to us. It was a silent agreement that he got to see the letters first between the three of us. My father opened the letter, he seemed hesitant thought. Why would he be? Robbie’s sent a letter!   
Slowly, as if savouring the letter, father opened the letter. I was bursting with excitement. He stared at the letter, analysing it, straight faced and calm. Then, he began.

Dear Mother, Father, and Kill-Kate, -10th October-  
I have made it to the training camp for the war. Don’t worry, I am yet to be injured but some of my pals are a bit battered up. We are all of different backgrounds and lives but we are all really bonding from this war. That’s something to be happy about in this situation! Their names are Adam and (believe it or not)Robert. Funny isn’t it? But they both like to be called Abe and Radi for some reason. Abe is an only child with his dad from Western Australia and Radi is the oldest of three boys in Victoria. We are all in the 8th Battalion and have completed the first week of training. Abe has sprained his wrist and Radi has a few cuts and scrapes from being so clumsy. But I’m all healthy! They think we will be able to start heading to war in late January. But it could be a bit different depending on how fast we get better. I really hope we improve fast so we can bang ‘em dead. I can’t write much more but I hope you are getting better dad. I will be writing to you in the meantime. I hope mum you are taking care of him well and that you save me some leftovers. And Kill-Kate, I bet you are getting way better on Lizz but please take care of Matt for me, maybe even ride him a bit too. I don’t want to come back to a lazy horse!   
I love you all,  
Robbie.

“His writing is just the same at least.” My dad says finishing the letter. “Short and sweet.” I agree. But I still miss him. His essence and writing are still here and in this piece of parchment but it didn’t compare to the real thing. I wanted my brother to be here to verse me, to ride with me, to cook with mum and crack jokes with dad. But I have to hold on. He may not be here, but he is doing his bit. I have to be proud of him. He is doing what is right. He is doing it for Australia and to protect us. He is. Plus, Dad is getting better. He will soon be able to join the fight and add more firepower!


	3. Reflection

\--19th Nov. 1915.--

"Kate! Can you come in here for a minute!?" Mum was calling to me from the back fence. I rode over to her on the back of Matt. He was still as fit as ever! I might be training Matt more than my Liz! Opps. I jumped off Matt and tied him up to the fence by the reins. He seems to be just as strong and proud for his owner. Like father, like...horse.

"Is...is he back yet?" Dad's condition was getting worse. How could this happen?! He was getting better. But this illness definitely doesn't back down. Dad was doing so well and he looked as good as new not too long ago. When Robbie's letter was here, Dad was so excited and healthy. He had to go off and fight too. What was that promise they made?! What happened to it?! It had to come through.

"Kate, don't look so down, I will get better. It just might take a bit of time. I am a bit tired though, would you....mind telling your mother. Just for a...minute." I must've had a worried look on my face. But with that, dad closed his eyes and fell asleep. "Ok then." I whispered back to him. I walked out and told mum. She sighed.

"Alright. I will continue preparing dinner. Could you please feed Matt and Lizz? Play with them a bit too. I don't want them to feel lonely." Mum then quickly turned back to continue cooking dinner. It might have been pasta. I headed back out and untied Matt. He was looking at the sky and I had to yank on the reins to get him back in reality. He obviously got bored waiting for me. I took him back to the stables to Liz who neighed and watched me in excitement to see me (I think). Hooking Matt back up to the stable pen, I got some horse feed out. No matter how hard I tried I always had to go in two trips to get all the food for the horses. It used to be Robbie's job. I pushed the wheelbarrow with all the might I could muster and got it to the horses. By the time I got back from my second trip they both already almost finished the first part of the food. I didn't know that horses could also be pigs! I stroked Liz's mane as she ate, still soft from yesterday's grooming. I sat with them as they ate, nothing else to do before dinner. Then had an idea. I unclipped her from her stable and got on her back. I rode her to feel free. It was so relaxing. But now wasn't the time for daydreaming. I rode her to the other side of our yard, where the daffodils grow. I got off her and picked some, remembering how I did with Robbie.

 

"Come on Kill-Kate! There's a lot here!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming! Will grandma really like these? I have never seen her with daffodils."

"Dad always said that grandma always had a bunch of daffodils in her house. When they wilted, they threw them off the nearby cliff so they would always have plenty of sunshine and water when they go to flower heaven."

"Wow, grandma must've been really nice."

 

Grandma Rika was amazing. I was told of her stories a lot, she even gave me and Rob little horse dolls. That's where we got our love for them. But she died when I was two and when Robbie was six. He and dad always told me stories about her. She must have loved horses. It was recently her birthday too, November 3rd. So I did our tradition of getting some daffodils and putting them in a vase. But I barely remember what she was really like...

"Kate! Dinner's ready!"


	4. Longing

\--7th Dec. 1915.--

Dear Mother, Father and Kill-Kate, 

-31 November-

Training is going well. We are learning about the different parts of our riffles and how they work. I didn't think they were so technical! But it really was interesting. Radi and Abe are both healed up from my last letter but they are missing their families a lot. I have had to comfort them several times. They must have been close to them. But nonetheless, they are all doing swell, I am sure of it. I am still yet to be injured and going strong. I might be able to make it through this entire war without a scratch. I reckon it will come through. The food though I must say isn't half as good as your own mum. I could really go for some of your famous sandwiches too. No matter, they keep the tank field, Get it? Tank. I bet you laughed. Anyways. I am really missing you all and both Abe and Radi are wishing a speedy recovery for dad. All three of us are rooting for you. We know you will be spick and span in no time. And if you are already all good, I look forward to seeing you soon. I don't know the date exactly, but I know Grandma Rika's birthday was around here so I had her in my thoughts. Would you believe there are no daffodils or flowers of any kind here!?Keep an eye on Kill-Kate for me mum, she better be looking after Matt for me. Kill-Kate, look after Matt for me! mum's watching you! And if he is being a bit of a brute, just give him a good rub behind the ears, works every time. I am off to bed now.

I'll be dreaming of you all, Robbie.

P.S. Merry Chrisse!!!

 

Our second letter has arrived. Robbie must be really enjoying his time. I have been hoping that he would write to us every single day, waking up to a letter every morning and it would be like he wasn't gone, I guess not. I still can't believe he would doubt me not taking care of his horse though. That makes me a bit annoyed, but he doesn't know though, so it's understandable, I guess.

"Kate! Give your father the letter! You've had it for the last 15 minutes." Was it really that long? Guess I was a bit caught up in my thoughts. I put the letter on the table and push it over to dad. He grabs it and puts his glasses over his eyes-I go back to my eggs. I really hoped he had thought of grandma though, we were both so close to her. I picked up my plate and gave it to mum. "Excellent eggs mum. Better than ever!" I say, make sure she sees my cheesy smile.

"Oh, thank you Kate, but they were a bit burnt." I can guess by her eyes, she is worried. For Robbie, for dad, for the war-I do not know. But I can see concern and fear in her pupils. She turns back to the kitchen to make sandwiches and other bits and pieces to send the soldiers. I am sure she dreams that they will get to Robbie soon. If he keeps saying they are bad, she will keep making them and try to reach him.

"Nonsense! They were great. Now, I am off to water the flora and fauna." I give mum a kiss on the check. There's the smile I know. I grab my boots and run outside to the water. Our watering can is really big too. But I was at least able to carry it with the water at ¾ full without breaking something. I bring it to the back gate and water the seedlings of new veggies and fruit, beginning to say good morning to the sun. They dropped a tad from the water but bounced back up. I waddled over to the horses. The can wasn't for them though. They had a tap that ran into their troff. I pushed the tap on and got splashed by the water. I screamed. Too cold, too cold!

 

"Robbie! Stop! Too cold. Too cold!"

"Come on Kill-Kate! It's perfect! It'll cool you down anyways. Let's go water the flora and fauna!"

"But Robbie! I want to water them too!"

"Well, the can is a bit heavy, so let's water them together."

"OK! Can we water the cucumbers, and the carrots, and the lettuce!? And the Lillies and the Daisies and the Daffodils!?"

"Yes Kill-Kate, all of them."

"Yay!! Let's go"

 

My times with Rob rushed to me with the stream of water. It seemed so recent, nor did it seem to fade after all these years. He was a caring and loving brother. I am sure he was the same to Abe and Radi in training. He must have shown that side of him. It's only natural. But Robbie was always considerate of others, even if they were complete strangers. And he was my brother. I am really missing him now. He is such a great man and while he is fighting for our country, I just want him to myself. Why is it that such a selfless boy is so humble? And yet, oblivious to the fact that he is loved and cared for by three people and then decided to leave them! I just wanted my brother to live with mum and dad and me. Just the four of us. But I just don't know if I can take anymore of him going off on his own adventures and leaving mum, dad and I so often! I can't be selfish though, I must follow in his footsteps. Plus, I need to take care of my dad and help my mum. I have to be strong, if not for myself, for Robbie and my family. Dad will get better. The illness is constantly fighting and affecting my dad, it's just how much he is winning. I just hope that they will win faster than dad so he doesn't have to go to war. I don't want it to just be mum and I at home waiting for them. I couldn't bare waiting for two. But, I am never trustworthy when it comes to guessing the future.


	5. Leaving for Two Fights

\--24th Jan. 1916.--

Dad, he is getting worse. He doesn't come out to the table for meals, nor does he help with the plants at all. He just sits in bed with the newspaper constantly checking the war articles. Is it concern? Illness? Wanting to be there? I can't tell. Only mum goes into his room to bring him meals and help him get changed. I sometimes see a glimpse of him through the door cracks, but he doesn't look the same. He has gotten so pale and thin. Unlike him only 3 months ago. I don't like this feeling. He doesn't normally comply with rules like this when he is sick. He will just pass it off as something small and eventually, it will go. But not this time, he is just, lying there. I don't like it. I went outside to the sunshine to clear my head. I wasn't going to get anywhere like this. I looked up to the sun and prayed to Grandma. She always was there to help. Why couldn't she still? Grandma? Are you listening? If you are there, take care of Dad. he isn't doing well. I know it's selfish of me to want him to stay here and not go to you, but please help him with his illness. He wants to go to war so bad, let him at least help with that. And look after Robbie too. He is working hard to defend us against the Germans and, just watch that he doesn't get hurt. He's been thinking of you, you know. I bet he misses you, we all are. I barely know you but I know you were kind. So please, just take care of you only son and grandson.

I look back at Robbie's most recent letter. He seemed excited to go.

 

Dear Mother, Father and Kill-Kate, 

-16 January-

We are going to leave for Turkey soon! Abe, Radi and I are all ready and raring to go like it's our purpose to fight. All our skills are up to pace and ready to be put into action. We found out that we are leaving this evening just after training. I know I should be packing but I thought it was better to tell you all first. I will be home soon and we can all celebrate our win! This is only a quick letter to tell you as nothing much else has happened. I am really sure now I will be home for Chrissie. It will be over in a jiffy. Easy. Dad, I will see you in the field. mum, I bet your cooking is even better than what it was before I left. Kill-Kate, I bet you and Liz are amazing now too, not that you weren't already!

See you all soon, Robbie.

 

I wasn't sure anymore if Robbie would see Dad again. Dad is probably going to stay like this till he dies. That will also probably be before Robbie comes back. Please, someone, help my dad. Mum? Doctors? Priests? Grandma? Anyone? At this rate, Dad will be a dead corpse in the ground by the time Robbie is back!

"Kate! I am heading out to town to get some things for dinner. Please stay inside so you can keep an eye on your father. He should be sleeping until I come back but just in case." My mother rarely goes out anymore, she was always looking after dad. I guess we can't live with only the leftovers from the last few weeks. I run inside and to see mum tying up her shoes.

"Just stay nearby. In case he wakes up and needs water or comforting. I won't be gone for long." Her pupils are still dark and scared. I am surprised she entrusted this with me instead of making me go to get food.

"Yep. I will stay in here." I smile as best I can, disregarding my last thoughts outside. Mum kisses me on the forehead and heads out. I watch her leave through the window. I am even more worried for her. It is harder to put up a front in public.


	6. Goodbyes

I sit in the kitchen, Robbie's letter in hand and deep in thought. With the sounds of breaths and nothing else, was peaceful. Yet it was interrupted by hyperventilation and screaming.

"Rika! Please don't go! Rika!" My dad was yelling and making a racket in his room. I ran in and shoved the door open to see him tossing and turning in his bed. I shook him too see him stare at me dead in the eyes and embrace me.

Sobbing.

I pat his back to calm him down and hopefully give him some care. He finally speaks to me for the first time in weeks.

"Kate, you remember Rika, don't you?" He's trembling. I can't tell if he had a nightmare, or a panic attack, maybe hallucinations. "Kate? Talk to me. Tell me you are real." What is he talking about? Mum needs to get home soon.

"Yes Dad. I am real. I exist. I do remember Rika-"

"Do you have memories of her? Not just stories about her. Fleshed out memories of her in your mind as a child?"

...I never thought about that. I have grown up with thousands of stories about her. Maybe more. But real memories?...Do I even know her?

"No..." I can't believe I have lived my life without... Wait a second. Yes!

"Actually, yes. One. I remember being in her arms. Sitting down. She gave me a little horse. Robbie too. Mine had a little daffodil painted on it too."

"You have s-so much to le...learn." His tears become a river. "She did give you that... But that was the last thing she did."

I was, her last action? My first and only, was her last? No... She was perfectly healthy in that memory though. I am sure of it.

"Your grand...Rika..." What does he mean? This doesn't make sense.

"...committed suicide after that day."

No.

"She jumped into the sea where her daffodils lay."

NO! She was happy though. Why would she make a choice? This isn't right.

"Everything she tried to care for, always eventually left or got hurt."

Her life was great though. She must have been to attached to everything.

"She wanted you to have this."

A small locket, like Robbie's. I don't want it. It reminds me of him.

"It contains a petal of her favorite daffodil."

But it's splattered with red. Maybe it is a mutation.

"She wanted Robbie to have the same thing."

So I was right. He got this too.

"It is red and yellow. Meaning the blo...darkest of times... will turn b-bright and happy times."

But what if the flower is always stained? Forever red and never yellow?

"It's my time to go to yellow."

Wait what?

"Tell your mother and brother I will be watching her red and yellow times."

No. Not you too! Keep breathing!

"Don't worry too much. You will be fine."

NO I WILL! "Please don't leave us! Mum will be mortified." I hold my tears from falling.

"But she knew this was coming."

I knew her eyes felt something wrong.

"Just make sure Robbie gets the celebration he deserves before he finds out."

Dad's eyes are fading. No, he can't die! I take his hand.

"No dad. We are going to get through this. Just wait for mum."

"Just know, I will be there for you, with Rika. I might just be a bit...less, there. I love you,

Kill-Kate."

Deep Breath .............Exhale..............Silence...............

He's gone. I-I, no. This didn't happen. Not yet. He is supposed to help with the War. With Robbie! For mum. For Grandma Rika. For me.

"Kate! I'm home!" No... NO. I can't tell her now. This is too much. I can't wait for Robbie with just mum. We won't be able to live. I can't support mum now.

"Kate, where are you!? I need your help with dinner." I don't want food. I just want dad back. I start hyperventilating now. Mum is here and she is going to see me with dad's body. This isn't right. Holding onto the locket tight, I burst out of dad's room and find mum putting food on the table. My tears begin to drop to the magnet on the floor. I just couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Oh my! Kate, Kate what's wrong?" She is so ignorant. I don't want to break it to her. But it's either tell her now or she finds out isolated in dad's room for herself. I run to her and embrace her in a big hug. "Dad... H-he is... gone." I eventually get it out between breaths and tears. I can't see my mother's face, but I know she too will take a long time to mourn. I begin to feel water on my head. Mum's crying too. I can't believe he is gone. My grip on the locket gets tighter.

"I am so sorry, and you were by yourself. I couldn't have been any slower, could I?"

"No, I just... I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything. Oh mum, what are we going to do?" I don't want to live here anymore. My memories of dad flood back to me like a waterfall.

 

"Daddy! Catch me!"

"I am coming Kate!"

 

"Dad, come see Liz! I put flowers in her hair."

"Pretty! Well done!"

 

"Dad, what do you want for dinner?"

"Anything! As long as my special Kate makes it!"

"Awww, dad!"

 

"Come on Kate, time to go to bed!"

"But dad! 5 more minutes? Please"

 

"Kate..." Mum snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you still hungry?"   
"No." 

"...Let's just go to bed for now. I think we both need it."

"...5 more minutes. Please?"


	7. Greiving

\--13th Feb. 1916.--

It's even more lonely in the house now. I dug a hole next to Grandma's Daffodils, now starting to be overrun with red weeds. It took all day, but was flooded with blood, sweat and tears. Here, dad and Grandma's memories lay. It's just mum and I in the house, waiting for Robbie. It's sad when Robbie sends letters now, as all of them had dad in them. We have no way of telling him. Every letter from now too. Dad is there, and we have to read the whole letter to find the start to end. Even this one, was just the same.

 

Dear Mother, Father and Kill-Kate, 

-4 February-

I am now in Turkey with Abe and Radi. It isn't what we thought it was but it was definitely a surprise. I really miss you all and there is going to be a few attacks over the next few weeks on the German lines. The three of us are always praying for you dad, even if you don't make to the war, we are making sure you keep fighting.

What a waste of time.

I have been praying for Grandma Rika too. I bet she would've been one of the nurses here, is would fit right in. We have to listen to the sounds of the bombs and guns 24/7 and it gets really annoying too. But not as annoying s Matt! It is very crowded though, not much space and a lot of men. But the more men the better! I believe we are doing our attack next month but who knows? Might change, you never really know what's going to happen when the time is right. Anyways, I hope you are all doing well, cooking the best meals, riding the best horses and fighting the biggest wars. I will be writing to you all again soon.

Missing you all, Robbie.

At this point, I think I am in charge of the letters, mum can't bare to read them. I just have to tell her what he says that aren't related to dad. She seems happy with this system, I may not be but I don't have a choice anymore. I can only rely on mum. I help mum with the cooking and the cleaning in the house as she is never paying attention. I just don't want this to stay this way. When Robbie comes back, everything will go back to normal, as it should be. Robbie and I will ride our horses, and mum will make the best sandwiches ever. That's how it should be. Really. I go out to feed the horses lunch. I guess I have gotten stronger too-I can carry all the food in one go. While I am there I grab some Daffodils while outside and put them in mum's favourite vase. I seemed to have gotten a weed while doing so though. There is a new red flower in this handful I grabbed. I put it on my dresser in my room. I wonder how it started growing there. Thinking of Grandma, I hold the necklace around my neck. Griping it tight like it's my last bit of life source. I would still like it if mum was able to do the chores she used to though, now she just tells me the recipes for meals and gets food. A lifeless husk, with rules and tasks to complete. I have everything else, tending the horses, watering the plants, cleaning, cooking and making sure mum doesn't go insane. I can't lose her too. I want her to go back to the way she was. I need her to go back to the way she was. For Robbie, for me, for Grandma Rika,

....For dad.


	8. Censors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter, I covered and scribbled out parts of the letter in my original work. So instead, I have just deleted and put dashes where there were words. The number of dashes doesn't equal how many words were there.

\--12th March. 1916--

Robbie's letter has a problem. It's all covered.

Dear Mother, Father and Kill-Kate, 

\------

\--------------I admit I was ready--------with Abe and Radi, but I am not so sure now. None of us are. --------------------------------------Radi is scared that he might not see his siblings for longer than he thought. He is struggling a bit but Abe and I have been able to comfort him thankfully. He is a very caring man. Abe is a bit better but feels the same for his parents having no brothers or sisters. I miss you all too. And, this might sound a bit strange and mean, but I am happy dad didn't make it into the army.----------------He's got you two girls caring for him. When I get back, I bet he will be as good as new. I trust you both. I can't talk much as we have to at least try to get some sleep. But wish us all the best. I just might be a bit longer than we expected. I won't go back on my promises though!

I miss you all, Robbie.

I can't read all that blacked out stuff. And it's driving me nuts. I can't see though the black lines and it's hurting mum too. She is panicking, thinking that Robbie has done something wrong to have his letters censored. She is doing even less work than before now and we both won't make it to see Robbie again. I don't have the stability-physically, financially and emotionally- to be able to continue if mum stops and doesn't do anything in the house. I won't be able to continue living this way for much longer either. I am working to the bone trying to get my mother back to the way she was while taking care of the garden, horses, flowers and house. I get little to no sleep and feel like everytime I finish one thing, two more just jump onto my list of "things to do". It's just too much. I pray that Robbie is doing better than I am. And that his war is going better than the one back home. We have lost one soldier, and can't afford to lose another. More, ammo, more soldiers, more hope. It just seems too far gone to be revived. I just can't do it though.

"Mum! It's lunchtime! There are sandwiches!" I have been put on pretty much every chore and I can't stand it. The two bits of motivation I have left are Grandma's locket and Robbie. No matter how far away he is, or how much he can say to us. He is still my brother and he is going to fight until victory. And so will I.


	9. Two

\--26th April. 1916.--

It's even worse. Mum is doing less and less everyday. My hope of her coming back is drained to nothing. I just need her to be here so I don't go insane. What a joke I must be. Mum only moves out of her room to go to the bathroom and check the letterbox for any news from Robbie. I think her hope is gone too. I see dead pupils in a milky river of tears. It's taken over her body and is stuck under its hypnosis with no chance or coming back. I don't think she plans on trying to escape either. Her entire body has shrunk from malnutrition and not eating enough. I make food but she will eat one bite and not anything more. But I, too have changed. My motivation is down to its last strands, with no tape or glue to support. I am hanging on a thread off the edge of a cliff. I am pretty much lying on the floor dead. But Robbie still will come back and bring us together. He can fix all this, once the war is over and done with, he can come and save us. This entire family. Mum will be smiley and happy again. I will be more focused on keeping Liz in shape rather than just alive. Dad can rest well with Grandma Rika, It's all got a place! He just needs to come home soon. I can't wait any longer. I need relief and a new friend. I have no time for writing out to town as I always have something that needs to be done. I desire an excuse to run for a day, with Liz, in the forest, quiet, breathtaking and at peace. The water is boiling for soup, I have a bit of time. I run out to the garden, take some more Daffodils in my hand. Coming back up the back gate I hear screaming. Mum? It couldn't be. Rushing inside, turning off the heat and putting the Daffodils on the bench, I go out to see mum, screaming and moaning on the porch, down on her hands and knees.

"Mum! Mum!!" She doesn't change or notice me. But this doesn't feel right. She hasn't shown this much emotion since Dad left.... "Mum!!!" I say finally, louder than her. She simply looks up at me and shoves paper to my chest and runs inside. I know what this letter says. I know it. Do I have to confirm my suspicions? If I don't read this letter, I will surely just continue normally, waiting for him to come back. Right? I have to. I can't leave this one letter unread. Out of all the other letters we have received. It still might be from Robbie. There's a chance.

To the family of Robert J. Michalson,

-No.-

I am sorry to inform you that Robert J. Michalson, of the 8th battalion, has gone missing for the last 7 days and presumed dead.

-No! I am going to be sick. The tears run like a broken tap, and after several breaths, I force myself to continue.-

We send our deepest condolences and prayers to you all, but we cannot continue to look for him as we are to focus on the war at hand.

-You should be looking after and watching over my Robbie!-

We do wish that you send your son/husband/brother off well.

-You can't be kidding me. This letter has no care or worries for us right now, don't they!?-

God save the -bloody- Queen,

Lt. H. Anderson and Pvt. C. Anderson.

And I bet they didn't even want to write fake emotions into this 'letter'. What a waste of time they would've thought. Send men out to find one, or keep them to fight? It would be better to leave one behind and have 10 to our disposable. I can't believe they would just ignore another human being. My tears burn flames to my skin. Never will these tracks be the same, scared with the pain of my brother. Robbie can't be dead!? He is still here. We have been so close since my birth, practically the same person. I would have known, if something happened, something got hit. But, they only said missing, that means he still might be out there! He has to be!! Right?

Right?

Who am I kidding? Robbie's gone. The tears burn brighter than before. Spreading to the rest of my face, now entirely scared. It's just mum and me. It's just... mum...and me. It can't be. No. Please, just let it be a mistake. My head slumps and falls in the weight of these heavy fires on my face, too weak to carry its own in this forest fire. Slowly, slowly, I return inside the house. I head to mum's room to comfort her again. It's only been 4 months and 2 days since Dad's death. Surely all this trauma will disappear. It must. I knock on a hollow door. My hand stops moving but the sounds echo in my head. ....Nothing. I call. ....Nothing. I open the door. Mum looks at her limbs, a stone stuck in stone. Slowly, but obviously, the stone turns to red and runs out of a broken pipe.

"Mum, NO! Don't do this!" She holds a shiny piece of metal in her hand, resting between fingers. I run and grab it from her grasp and sprint to the bathroom. I grab bandages and drop metal. I head back to see mother, fallen on the bed. Wrapping her arms up with disinfectant and bandages, I check her breathing. Short and shallow, but there. I breath into her mouth. It raises her chest, but results in nothing. Still just barely here. I scream at mum, trying to wake her up.

"Laura! Laura Michalson!! Mum!!! Please! I need you!" Her eyes flutter open, just. Raising her left hand onto my face I grab onto it as if it's a lifeline. My tears fall heavier onto her hand, spreading to mum's eyes too.

"I am here Kate. But, just let me rest. I need to rest my heart." I can't tell if she is saying her last words or needs a break from her emotional trauma. She just wants to be free it seams. But for how long? A few hours, days? Forever? Not yet.

"Please wake up. Just stay by me. I won't be able to live in a big house by myself. Just stay with me. One more day. We can get through it together. Just one day. Please?"

"OK, child. I will come back. I promise.

....Kill-Kate."

With that, she closes her eyes, her breathing now more regular and normal. I let go of her hand and tuck her into bed. She needs sleep. It's getting late, I should start dinner soon. But I should check the garden for sprouts. I walk past the wilting Daffodils, petals falling by the minute. I grab all the withered ones and underneath I see more of those red flowers. Still fine. What weed is able to survive so long? It is quite beautiful though, I hold onto it and take into mum's room. It will be a nice thing to wake up to. I go out to get more Daffodil's to find there are now many of those red flowers here. I shall have to find out what these flowers are. Maybe even see if they are why the Daffodil Grandma Rika had turned red.


	10. A Girl and Her Locket

\--1st May. 1916.--

It's been four days, Mum has been sleeping for two of them and the other two still barely eating. It's a phase, right? I just have to keep encouraging her to go on and I need to be even more aware of my life. I have mum hanging over a cliff, I just need to keep holding on. Making food is harder now having to listen to her as I stay focused on the meal. She is always in the back of my mind just poking at my brain. I can't forget to talk to her, can't forget to 'feed' her, can't forget to comfort her, can't forget. My trips to the garden and horses are always short. I need to go back in to make sure mum isn't going crazy. To check on her. But my mind keeps wandering. It just keeps going off to a far off land, where Robbie never left, where dad was never ill, where we were a happy family. I just want that to be a reality. I give the horses some extra food and love today, they haven't had a good run in ages. A mere clop around the gate and back was not enough to keep them healthy and ready to run. I tried to comfort their long faces to a somewhat less long face. Any enjoyment I can find never lasts long, but this one is going to last at least longer than what has become the normal. I put Liz back in her stable and rub my locket. It may be Grandma's, but I feel a connection to her, dad and Robbie through it. It's a miracle and my small escape. It hurts. Heading back inside, I go to check on mum. I swap the old Daffodils for new ones and put them on the table. But what I hear is horrifying.

......Smash.....Hyperventilating.....Screams....Quiet.....

I am frozen in my place, I can't move. I need to help mum! She is going to die!! If I don't move I will be alone, I don't have much time! Please! Just move legs! Before it gets too dark and quiet!! Now! My locket is close to my chest and I feel it through my shirt. My energy is back. Mum, I am coming!

....A Statue...In red...An empty Husk...

I run and hug her.

"MUM! Please, No! I still need you!! You promised!! You promised you would stay!!" I am screaming my entire life force at her if it means I will get her back. Just please I need you. My tears start up again. My windy voice is bringing up the old embers again.

"Kate... Please...Be careful...You will do well. You know how to take care of yourself. Just know, that we will all be watching you." Mum is shaking, almost hesitant to leave. I'm shaking too.

"Kate. The locket. We will all be there for you, just hold onto that. And we will all be there for you. Remember that, even if we are gone, we reached yellow. And you will too. Just not in the same world as us." She smiles. The most genuine I have seen after all this time.

"We will all support you with this locket for as long as you remember...

Kill-Kate."

Her bed sinks that little bit lower. Her head becomes that little bit heavier. Her smile still shines through the clouds. But I am alone. No more support. No more love. No more help. I can't dig another hole. Not again, not ever again. It hurts too much. Never. Not again. But, I should lay her to rest. At least respect her death, right? Would that break my heart even more? Would I be able to stand this life anymore? I can survive. I can. Can I? 

~

The last of my family is now sitting in the grass, next to one another. Mother, Father, Grandma. All in a row. Together with their son in the sky. All that is left was a girl and her locket. It didn't feel right. Alone, I stand, dreaming of them around me. Alone, knowing no one is here to catch me, or talk to me. Alone, only having a house of bad memories and responsibilities that never should go to a 16 year old. It is too much. I must be a bad luck charm. I really do kill, don't I?

I look to one lump, seeing the eyes and smile of a woman cut down with heartbreak. I look to the second lump, hearing the sobbing and weak breathing of a strong man. I look to the sky, knowing that I won't see him again, but the strong will and humor or a caring man will never be forgotten. I look to the flowers, now a mix of yellow and red withered flowers. I see the one memory I have of an old woman who looks kind but has demons in her eyes. She gestures to my neck and I hold onto the locket. Her favorite flower showing what my family has all gone through. Strife to peace. But what about me? WIll I have my yellow on the ground or in the sky? Opening the locket to the petal...

...I feel an urge. 

I don't know where, but I know where I am going. I am not coming back to this place. It's too dark and has nothing left for me. I close the locket and run to the horses. Matt and Liz are startled by my presence. They won't have to deal with that anymore. I unhook them from their stables. Cracking my riding crop at Matt, to get him away out of this house. He is better off with another owner. Nothing is left for us here. I begin to saddle up Liz roughly, but I throw it off again and decide to go bareback. I grab as many as the flowers I can carry and take them back to her. We ride. I don't know how long it will take, I don't know where I am going, I just know I am going there. Some flowers fall out of my grip as I head out. Moving with the wind, Liz burns out quickly, but I urge her to go on. My tears continue to trickle down my cheeks and off my face from the speed of Liz. But the faster we get there, the faster we both, can be relieved. My sense of direction gets bigger and stronger as we go along until I know we are here. 

The edge of a forest. 

Opening up to a clear view of an ocean. I jump off Liz embracing this feel of the wind on my face. Putting the last of the flowers on the ground, I ruffle her mane, she seems to enjoy it. But, she will enjoy the rest of her time without me. Again, I crack my riding crop to get Liz away from me and get her a better life. She will be taken care of, just as long as she is away from me. I am a bad luck charm for all living things. Walking back to the cliff, I grab the last of the flowers. I look at my hand. Again, one red flower sits in this bunch of five. I throw one Daffodil off the edge think of my father, and another for my mother and another for my brother. The last Daffodil, although wilting, stands tall next to the red flower. Like it's getting power to stand from the red. Maybe it is saying I should get stronger from my pain... But, I won't be able to support myself. I have no one else. No one to help if I mess it all up. I can't let myself do this. My legs are shaking, palms sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy. I want to join my family. Why am I stuck here in this world while they are all happy and relieved? It's the best choice, for me. I run up to the edge and jump. I... I am flying. Is... Is that my family? They are all there! They are going to catch me! I can't see Robbie but I am sure he is there too. I am finally free of this life, this pain, this hurt, this name and forever with those I love.

Goodbye, and see you never,

Kill-Kate.

 

I am quiet.

 

I am breathtaking.

 

I am at peace.

 

I am home.

 

End...


	11. Eplilouge

...

...

...

....I am home. 

I am back in Australia. My home. I run home excited to get back. I am back before Chrissie too. I did send letters that I would be back but they just might not have arrived. I come home to see an empty house with no lights on. I open the door. No one is here. Dust, cobwebs, silence. Nothing. I run outside to see withered crops and dead flowers laying on two small lumps. Daffodils and Poppies. When did they plant them? It must've been for the soldiers at war. The horses are gone too? Did they run off? Heading back inside I run around the house to see what I can find. It smells awful in here, but I continue. I see opened letters on the table. The top-most one reads something....

But,

When did I die?

 

True End.


End file.
